What do backbiting and
cannibalism have in common? Would we ever consider calling ourselves cannibals?
Cannibalism – A person who eats the flesh of other human beings
Backbiting
– ‘O ye who believe! Avoid most of suspicions; for suspicion in some cases is a
sin. And spy not, nor back-bite one another. Would any of you like to eat the
flesh of his brother who is dead? Certainly you would loathe it. And fear
Allah, surely, Allah is Oft-Returning with compassion and is Merciful [Holy
Qur’an 49:13].
After looking at the above definitions, I’m certain that some of us have unknowingly committed the grave
sin of backbiting, or ‘eating the flesh of our dead brother’.
- Boredom: Usually gossip starts up when you have nothing productive to do with your time.
- Low Self Confidence: In order to make ourselves feel better about the way we look/act/talk etc. we feel the need to put others done and talk badly about them.
- Envy/Jealousy: Jealousy is a trait that we don’t want to show. However, when we gossip, our jealousy shows threw.
How Do I Get Out Of It?
Most of the time, we get
dragged into gossip, or conversations that lead to gossip. It’s important to
know how to get ourselves out of this situation, or what to do in such
situations.
- Avoid People Who Backbite
- Ever hear the saying, “Bad company corrupts good character”? This is why it is so important to befriend people who have similar morals and values as yourself.
- Change the Bad to Good
- Instead of talking badly about someone, try to say something positive about the individual.
- The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Whoever defends his brother’s honour, Allah will protect his face from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection” (Tirmidhi).
- Avoid Places of Gossip
- At university, work, and even online, certain meeting places are used for gossip (i.e. lunchrooms, cafeterias etc.). If you tend to get involved in backbiting in these locations, find different places to unwind or eat lunch.
- Stop Asking Leading Questions
- Avoid the use of questions that can lead to backbiting.
- For example: “Have you seen so-and-so lately?” will most likely lead to “Did you hear that so-and-so…”.
- It’s None Of Your Business
- Oftentimes we get involved in conversations that are of no concern to us, we’re merely involved to kill time.
- It can be very difficult, but saying something along the lines of, “It doesn’t concern us”, or anything that will stop the discussion from continuing with more backbiting, is a great way to end the gossip.
- Change The Topic
- Sometimes the best thing to do is find something else to talk about.
- If someone’s talking about someone, bring it to something along the lines of:
- Students: “How are your classes/exams going?”
- Work: “Are you working tomorrow? When does your shift end today?”
- Stay Silent
- Sometimes the best thing to do when you’re unsure of whether you’re backbiting or not is to remain silent. When someone is not present in the conversation, don’t talk about them.
To Summarize
Allah has said in the Holy
Quran, “And when thou seest those who engage in vain discourse concerning Our
Signs, then turn thou away from them until they engage in a discourse other
than that. And if Satan cause thee to forget, then sit not, after recollection,
with the unjust people” (6:69).
Backbiting is a hard habit
to break loose from. It may seem like you don’t really backbite, but even a 2
second statement about someone that’s not present can be classified as
backbiting.
Be aware that death can
occur at any time. We don’t want to end up living a life where we read Namaz
and Qur’an, and follow the teachings of Islam, yet fall in to this trap of
backbiting, and end up dying without seeking forgiveness from Allah.
Just remember the
following Hadith:
Abu
Hurairah narrated that it was said:
" O Messenger of Allah! What is backbiting?" He said :
" Mentioning your brother with that which he does not like." He said
" What if what I said about him is so?" He said: "If what you
said about him is so, then you have backbitten him, and if it is not as you
said, then you have slandered him."
2 comments
Great advice. So many problems would melt away if people paid careful attention to what you have outlined.
ReplyDeleteBackbiting and the Perils of indulging in it
ReplyDeletehttp://www.alislam.org/mta/summary/december26-2003.html