Anger is a completely normal emotional
state, however, we must learn how to control it before it controls us. When
angry, we tend to respond with aggression in order to defend ourselves. But
it’s important to remember that just as a fire cannot be extinguished by
pouring fuel into it, requiring water; anger cannot be extinguished with
aggression, requiring calmness and tolerance.
As believers, we are constantly trying to
develop positive habits and shun negative habits in order to please our
Creator. Allāh says in the
Holy Qur’ān in Sūrah Aal-e-‘Imran: “Those who
spend in prosperity and in adversity, and those who suppress anger and pardon
men; and Allāh loves those who do good” (3:135). From this verse it is clear that
anger is not a trait that will ever please Allāh. If we wish to attain the love of Allah, it is important to
learn how to rid ourselves of this negative trait.
STEP 1: SEEK ALLAH'S PROTECTION
The first step in
controlling our anger is seeking protection from Allāh against Satan. It is
narrated by Sulaiman bin Surd that while sitting in the company of Prophet Muhammadsa
two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger,
and his jugular veins swelled. On that Muhammadsa said, “I know a
word the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says
“I seek refuge with Allah from Satan’ then all his anger will go away”.[1] If we
think about these words of the Prophetsa, we would think that this
is quite easy to do. But remember, a state of anger may be the hardest time for
us to say these words, since in that moment pausing and remembering Allāh may never cross our minds.
STEP 2: REMAIN SILENT
The second step in
controlling our anger is to remain silent. The Messenger sa of Allāh
said, “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent”[2]. The
reason being, that in anger we say things that we later regret. By remaining
silent, we are given a chance to sit back, reflect on the incident, and come
back to it with a clear mind.
We must remember
that anger combines all kinds of evil; therefore by ridding ourselves of anger,
we are safeguarding ourselves from other sins. This is why, when a man asked;
“O Messengersa of Allāh, advise me”, the Messengersa said, “Do not get angry”[3]. Even
when the man repeated this several times, the Messengersa had the
same reply, “Do not get angry”[4].
Unfortunately, nowadays, anger is such a
normal response used daily by some, which can create tension in the lives of
the individuals involved. This is why it is important that we develop the habit
of being patient and even-minded. This will not only create a positive life for
our loved ones, and us but also bring us closer to Allāh.
OUR ROLE MODEL
Let’s look at our current Khalifaaba
as a role model for us. In his Friday
Sermon on October 10th, 2014 he stated, “I do not have personal
enmity with anyone. Some people write letters to me filled with abuse but I
never feel any anger towards them”. This
is the response that we too should have when faced with a stressful situation
or person. Instead of abusive language or hatred for the opposite party, we
should approach them with love and patience.
May Allāh enable us
to control our anger in any situation that comes our way so that we may attain
His love, Ameen!
0 comments