From the moment you find out you're going to be a mother, you start planning for the arrival of your little bundle of joy. After learning to cope with the 'not so fun' symptoms of being pregnant, your days are spent browsing the web for baby products, waiting for your next appointment to see and hear the life inside you, and being amazed by each and every kick and hiccup.

Throughout my pregnancy, my only fears were for the health of the baby, and for the labour and delivery that was to come. Similar to many moms-to-be, my focus throughout the pregnancy was to enjoy time with my husband and some me-time, and prepare everything we needed for the baby. In reality, the much more important thing that I should have been planning and praying for was my life to follow. The huge change that occurred in my life is one that I feel I wasn't truly mentally prepared for - regardless of how 'ready' I felt to become a mother.

A few days before our daughter's expected due date, she decided to make a speedy entrance. I was blessed to have the labour and delivery experience that I had dreamed and prayed for, Alhamdulillah. The part that I had been so worried for had passed, and now the true reality of what I should have been worried for hit me.

Our first night in the hospital, I remember staying awake all night. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, out of fear of something happening to her. Despite being in a hospital and knowing we had every resource around us, if God-forbid something were to happen, I still felt like I had to look at her to keep her safe. I would say, this is when my anxiety/blues began.

From the hospital, we headed to my parent's home where we would be staying for the next couple of weeks. Those first few nights consisted of lots of tears. Thoughts of, "Did we decide to have kids too soon?", "How can I take care of her for the rest of my life?", "What if something happens to her?" and "Will my husband and I's relationship be changed forever?" filled my mind. I was so confused as to why people chose to have kids and why anyone would voluntarily get stuck in the cycle of diaper changes, feeds, sleepless nights, and exhausting days. I loved my daughter dearly, but what made it hardest for me was the huge change. I have never been someone who works well with changes in my life. I need structure, to-do lists, and schedules, to make myself feel sane. However, as the first few days of my daughter's life had quickly made me realize, we were now running with her schedule, not mine, and that was a tough pill to swallow.

Regardless of how much we could have planned for a child, I feel as though you never truly know what you're getting yourself into. I had spent 15 years of my life being around young kids and if there's anyone who loved to be around kids, it was me. I had known from the start of my marriage that I wanted to have kids soon. Yet even after giving ourselves plenty of time as a couple, the huge change that came about with a child made me wish I could go back to the comfort of the life I was used to.

Now, as my daughter turns 1 month old, I can truly say, I know why people have children. No, it's not easy; No, your life will never be the same again, and that's not necessarily a bad thing; and No, you will not have the independence you once had. But, motherhood is a love that you truly never knew existed inside you. If you are going through this, just know that it's a lot more common than you think. You are allowed to mourn the loss of the life you once had, but know that life has phases and change is inevitable. You can never be in one stage of life forever. And things will get better!! You will be able to get out of the rut that comes with the first few weeks as a new mom and enjoy motherhood very soon.

Here are a few things that helped ease my anxiety as a new mother, that I feel can be of help for anyone else going through this 'new mom adjustment period'. 

1. Be Around Loved Ones
I am so grateful to live close to my parents and siblings. Before I had my daughter, I had planned to stay at my parents' home for two weeks maximum. I had assumed I would have enough time to heal and figure things out in those two weeks. Boy was I wrong! Within a few days of being at my moms', I quickly extended my stay to a month. Not having to deal with the cooking and chores that would have come with me going home was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! By the time I left my mothers home, I was so comfortable taking care of my baby and we had a pretty good routine figured out, which made the transition a lot easier.

2. Incorporate Parts of Your Old Life In Your New Routine
On the first or second night with the baby, I remember crying to my husband that I missed the life we had before. I missed doing what I wanted whenever I wanted, or getting up and going wherever we pleased. This came from a new mom who was exhausted by the repetitive nature of taking care of a baby, and just wanted the 'easy' life she once had. My husband quickly reassured me that our daughter was a blessing, and that it would get easier. By having my parent's around, my husband and I were able to get out of the house and do things we would have done previously. I would help my mom clean and cook whenever I had a spare second, because that's something that I used to do before baby and it brought a part of my old life back. This made me feel as though I had some control, and that life wasn't completely different now.

3. Get Outside
One of the reasons we had planned for a summer baby was to have longer days, and to be able to get outside. I know that if I had a winter baby and was trapped inside for the cold Canadian winter months, I would go crazy. When my daughter was a few days old, we took her for a day out. We planned on sticking to outdoor places such as the patio at a restaurant, and parks to ensure she wouldn't get sick. Yes, it took a little bit of planning, and it wasn't as easy as when it was just the two of us, but the fresh air was so necessary. Sometimes it's important to remind yourself that there's a world outside your doors! The earlier you start taking your little one out (staying within your comfort zone of course), the faster you will get comfortable with it.

4. Take Care of Yourself
I can't stress how important it is to make time for yourself. Eat so your body is nourished, especially if you are breastfeeding. Take a shower, and get into clean clothes. It isn't only your little one that deserves to get bathed and dressed every day, so do you! When possible do something simply for yourself - get your nails done, your hair, etc. If you don't take care of yourself you can't possibly be in the best mood to take care of your baby! Self care is so important for new moms, especially when it can feel as though your life is now revolving around your baby and you have no second to spare.

5. Pray
For me, the biggest thing I felt had impacted my mood and increased my anxiety postpartum was not being able to pray my 5 daily prayers for those first few weeks. When you become used to praying every single day for 40 weeks, not being able to pray postpartum can feel very odd. Moreover, Ramadan had just passed, which had definitely boosted me spiritually. Going from that, to motherhood and not having the routine of my Salat definitely impacted my mood. I then made it a habit to recite some Surah's and prayers in my own words while nursing. Since my daughter would feed every few hours during the day, I was able to keep a connection with Allah throughout the day despite not praying Salat. After doing this for a few days, I already felt like my heart was more at peace.

If you are a new mom just know, you are so blessed to experience motherhood. Yes, you will miss your freedom, independence, and life before motherhood - but that's life. Every phase of your life will bring with it ups and downs. Things you enjoy in your current life and things you miss from your previous phases of life. Just know, that once you have a rhythm and routine with your little one, this will become your new normal and you will love it. Just remember, you are doing an amazing job; Ask for help whenever you need to; Take care of yourself; And enjoy the tiny little baby in your life - because they grow way too fast.

May Allah bless all mothers with the strength to raise their children and shower them with His blessings, Ameen.

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[Please note: If you are feeling depressed after your baby's birth, and experience any symptoms of postpartum baby blues or depression, call your doctor and schedule and appointment. If you have symptoms that suggest you may have postpartum psychosis, get help immediately. Call your doctor if the signs and symptoms of depression have any of the follow features: don't fade after 2 weeks, are getting worse, make it hard for you to take care of your baby, make it hard to complete everyday tasks, include thoughts of harming yourself or your baby]