We live in a world where the importance given to appearance is far greater than it has ever been before. And from here, it's only increasing. Whether it be the media, and it's flawless display of celebrities, or posters showcasing the 'Most Beautiful Female 2014' or 'Most Attractive Male 2014'. This portrayal of beauty and looks has a huge impact on the young girls and boys of this generation.
WHERE DO OUR LOOKS COME FROM?
When we were born, we had no idea how we would look. Would we be tall? Would we be short? Would we be dark skinned or light skinned? All of these things were granted to us from the passed down genetics of our parents. Let's just say that if you have the qualities that media calls 'attractive' you may have just been the lucky winner of a genetic lottery. As well, Allah made us the way we are, and without Him, we would never look the way we do. So if anything, we shouldn't be giving ourselves credit because even more than our parents, Allah deserves it.
EGO
I think we all can agree that ego and looks go hand in hand. The better you feel about your looks, the higher your ego gets. But the Holy Qur'an states: "And turn not thy cheek away from men in pride nor walk the earth haughtily; Surely, Allah loves not an arrogant boaster" (31:19). We shouldn't think highly of ourselves because we feel that we look better than someone else. This pride is of no use. In fact, why would you take far more credit than you deserve on something that you didn't have a hand in? For example, if your father bought you a car, would you walk around with a sense of achievement, showing it off? If yes, why? Was it purchased with your money? Then why are you taking credit for it? We shouldn't feel a sense of achievement, because the credit should go to our father who earned the money and then spent it on the car. Similarly, why should we show off about something like our height, skin colour or weight when so many of the times its purely genetics?
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
If we get complimented for our looks, our first reaction should be to thank Allah and make the person (who has complimented us) realize that it is all thanks to Allah (say Alhamdulillah). Next, we should never brag about our looks or a certain aspect of ourselves that we are so luckily blessed with. I think a lot of times we forget that these characteristics that we have are all thanks to Allah, so being complimented can easily boost our selfesteems. However, we must remind ourselves that we did nothing to be blessed with many of the characteristics that we have, which should prevent us from growing in terms of ego.
MY REASON FOR BRINGING THIS UP
Constantly, I see mothers who are searching for a wife/husband for their son/daughter keeping things such as height, weight and skin colour a priority. It bothers me that such an unimportant aspect is given so much more importance than it needs to be given. We must remind ourselves that these things are not what's important. When things that are unchangeable are given importance, then I begin to question people's priorities. How can we assume that just because someone has a certain aspect (in their physical appearance) that they will overall be a better person?
Basically, this is just a friendly reminder to everyone that, yes, you may be beautiful and attractive, and yes you should embrace that. But, thank Allah for making you the lucky winner of a genetic lottery. Stop taking all the credit for it and be thankful that you have been given these characteristics. Overall, let them make you a better person, not a bitter person.
May Allah enable us all to do so, Ameen!
WHERE DO OUR LOOKS COME FROM?
When we were born, we had no idea how we would look. Would we be tall? Would we be short? Would we be dark skinned or light skinned? All of these things were granted to us from the passed down genetics of our parents. Let's just say that if you have the qualities that media calls 'attractive' you may have just been the lucky winner of a genetic lottery. As well, Allah made us the way we are, and without Him, we would never look the way we do. So if anything, we shouldn't be giving ourselves credit because even more than our parents, Allah deserves it.
EGO
I think we all can agree that ego and looks go hand in hand. The better you feel about your looks, the higher your ego gets. But the Holy Qur'an states: "And turn not thy cheek away from men in pride nor walk the earth haughtily; Surely, Allah loves not an arrogant boaster" (31:19). We shouldn't think highly of ourselves because we feel that we look better than someone else. This pride is of no use. In fact, why would you take far more credit than you deserve on something that you didn't have a hand in? For example, if your father bought you a car, would you walk around with a sense of achievement, showing it off? If yes, why? Was it purchased with your money? Then why are you taking credit for it? We shouldn't feel a sense of achievement, because the credit should go to our father who earned the money and then spent it on the car. Similarly, why should we show off about something like our height, skin colour or weight when so many of the times its purely genetics?
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
If we get complimented for our looks, our first reaction should be to thank Allah and make the person (who has complimented us) realize that it is all thanks to Allah (say Alhamdulillah). Next, we should never brag about our looks or a certain aspect of ourselves that we are so luckily blessed with. I think a lot of times we forget that these characteristics that we have are all thanks to Allah, so being complimented can easily boost our selfesteems. However, we must remind ourselves that we did nothing to be blessed with many of the characteristics that we have, which should prevent us from growing in terms of ego.
MY REASON FOR BRINGING THIS UP
Constantly, I see mothers who are searching for a wife/husband for their son/daughter keeping things such as height, weight and skin colour a priority. It bothers me that such an unimportant aspect is given so much more importance than it needs to be given. We must remind ourselves that these things are not what's important. When things that are unchangeable are given importance, then I begin to question people's priorities. How can we assume that just because someone has a certain aspect (in their physical appearance) that they will overall be a better person?
Basically, this is just a friendly reminder to everyone that, yes, you may be beautiful and attractive, and yes you should embrace that. But, thank Allah for making you the lucky winner of a genetic lottery. Stop taking all the credit for it and be thankful that you have been given these characteristics. Overall, let them make you a better person, not a bitter person.
May Allah enable us all to do so, Ameen!
