As you grow older, you learn a lot about what truly matters in life. There are many things I wish I had known when I was younger, to develop a more positive mindset in my younger self. Although it's impossible to go back in time, I believe these little pieces of advice and things to keep in mind can truly help you or the young ones in your life, embark from childhood into adulthood more positively!




1. Nobody has the PERFECT life
Oftentimes as a child, it can feel as though everyone else's life is perfect.
"Why do I look the way I look?" "Why does everyone else have the best clothes?" "Why does everyone else get the best marks?" "Why does everyone else have all the money in the world?" "Why? Why? Why"

You need to realize that just as your life is not perfect, neither is the life of the person you compare yourself to. You don't know the struggles anyone else is going through. They may be dealing with things that you don't even know about. Just because you cannot see the trials and tribulations in the lives of your peers, does not mean that they have a better life than yours. So stop envying these people! Allah tries His servants in many different ways, to see if they can grow from these trials, and grow closer to Him. I am positive you have a better life than so many individuals around the world! Think about that for a minute. Thus, you must learn to appreciate and be grateful for the life you have!

2. There will never be a RIGHT TIME
You may have the desire to do something in your life, but may continue to wait for the right time.  Just remember, that there will never be a right time. If you desire to accomplish something, start now! Once you begin the journey you wish to begin, Allah will Insha'Allah guide your steps forward. Whether this be a dream to start a business, write a book, travel, etc., just take the first step forward. Imagine how much more you can accomplish when you begin early and put more time and years into your dream. If you continue to wait for the right time, either you will have too many other responsibilities, lack financially, or not have enough time altogether - meaning the right time will never come.

3. You have a lot of FREE TIME
As a child, you sometimes forget how much free time you have. I believe this is true for every stage in your life. Despite being married and studying, I can still say to my current self, "You have a lot of time right now, just wait until you have kids!". If you are still in elementary or middle school, or have just entered high school, be grateful for the time you have. Many children have no other obligations besides school. With good time management skills, you should have plenty of free time during the week. Use this time to build on yourself, nurture hobbies, read, and gain knowledge. The knowledge you gain during this point of your life will definitely benefit you throughout your life. Do not let technology, movies, television shows, YouTube, social media, and whatever other distractions are out there today, steal hours upon hours of your day!

4. Expand your knowledge and MEMORIZE all you can
Building off of the above point I will say, memorize all that you can! In terms of religious knowledge, memorize Surah's, Hadith, verses of the Qur'an, about the lives of the prophets and all that you possibly can. I assure you that what you memorize today, will remain with you for your entire life. I still to this day remember everything that I had fluently memorized as a child! So do not let those early years (when your brain is able to absorb every little thing) pass by without you benefitting from them.

5. PRAY, not because you have to, but because you want to
I'm sure your parents are constantly reminding you to pray. I'm also aware that there must be days in which you pray for the sake of pleasing your parents rather than pleasing Allah. But you must remember that by praying, you are following Allah's commandment to pray and worship Him. Try to understand the true meaning behind why you are asked to pray and then promise yourself to never miss your prayers - not because you have to, but because you want to! Becoming regular in your prayers as a child will not only be a sort of investment for the Hereafter, but will also grant you so much success in this world Insha'Allah!

6. Don't let your insecurities undermine your WORTH
Growing up, you can easily develop a lot of insecurities about the way you look. Trust me, we've all been there! Whether it be your weight, height, hair, glasses, acne, etc., just remember that it does not at all define who you are! Many times you don't realize how insecure you feel about something until someone picks on you for it. Just remember that these people who put you down do not deserve the key to your happiness. The majority of these people will not even be in your life a few years down the line. So try to be comfortable in the way you look and the way Allah created you, because we were all crafted perfectly!

Oh, and you will 'glow up' Insha'Allah ;)

7. The little things will be of no importance in the GREATER PICTURE
Sometimes, you may feel as though a small decision or obstacle in your life is going to change your life forever. Majority of the time, this is not the case. Many of the small obstacles you face as a child, will be of zero importance to you in the future. So if any decision or trial is every stressing you out, remind yourself that it is only for a short period of time and will pass by Insha'Allah!

8. Your FAMILY is always going to be your greatest support system
As a child, there seems to be a social pressure to have the largest group of friends. But you must remember that a few amazing friends are definitely more valuable than many 'friends' who you can barely relate to. Regardless of how many friends you have, you should always be very close to your family! I am not saying to substitute family for friends, because I know you need a social life outside of home.  However, a lot of the friends you make throughout your life will only be there for a short period of time. Later on, you both may move on and lose contact. Family on the other hand, will always be there for you! Thus, it is very important that you build a quality relationship with your siblings and parents. Spend time with them. Build memories with them. I promise, when you're older, get married, and move out, you will miss your family the most! Moreover, it is your family that you will want to share every little bit of happiness and excitement with.

9. Enjoy the PRESENT
At every stage in our lives, we look forward to a stage in the future. Many children are excited to grow up, get into middle school, then high school, get a job, go to University, etc., forgetting about the stage they are currently in. Enjoy the present by reminding yourself that this stage in your life will never return!

When in high school, you will miss the free time you had after each day in elementary school.
When in University, you will miss the simple schedule of going to, and coming back from middle school.
When working, you will miss the feeling of spending time at your University campus and cramming for exams with friends.
When married, you will miss coming home to a home-cooked meal by your mother.

You see what I mean? Every stage in your life is a blessing! There are many people in the world who passed away before experiencing the next stage in their lives. We too, do not know when Allah has planned our return from this world. What if you never reach that stage in your life that you are oh so excited for? This is why it is very important to appreciate today!

10. Life is SHORT
Despite being in my early 20's I am constantly thinking of how short life is. As a child, you feel as though you have an endless number of years ahead of you - Sadly, you do not! This means that you should constantly be investing good deeds for the Hereafter. Pray to Allah, give to the needy, be kind to your neighbours, respect your parents, and adopt in your life all of the positive and blessed teachings of Islam. Remind yourself that this life is a test, and like any test, you can either pass or fail. You do not know when your life will suddenly come to an end. You are not promised to reach old age. This is why it is very important to remind yourself from a young age, of the true purpose of life and the inevitability of death and the Hereafter.

As many of you know, Salat is one of the five fundamental requirements for a Muslim. We are told in the Holy Qur'an, 

"So glorify Allah when you enter the evening and when you enter the morning. And to Him belongs all praise in the heavens and the earth — and glorify Him in the afternoon and when you enter upon the time of the decline of the sun [Holy Qur'an Chapter 30, Verses 18-19]. 

Moreover, Huzur (aba) consistently directs our attention towards offering prayers regularly, on time, and in congregation. Not understanding its importance, some of you may have yet to establish your prayers, while others may go through periods of time in which you lose the momentum. Nevertheless, we must remember that the first thing that we will be asked on the Day of Judgement will be in regards to our prayers. Knowing that a little push in the right direction can bring you back on track, I have developed a list of tips and tricks to help you maintain your Salat!



1. STOP PROCRASTINATING

The most important thing for you to remember is that prayer comes first! Listen to that voice in your head that is reminding you to pray, and get yourself up to pray. The longer you drag it on and avoid praying, the longer it will linger around in your head and be a source of distraction. But remember, prayer shouldn't feel like a burden. Regardless, once you know that you have prayed, you will feel accomplished and ready to complete the remainder of what you need to get done thereafter. 

2. PLAN AROUND YOUR SALAT
The second tip is one I am sure you have heard before, and I can confirm that it's definitely the easiest way to stay regular in Salat - plan around your Salat! For example, if you set your alarm for Fajr prayer, it can be a great way to start your day on time! Of course, when Fajr prayer falls at around 4am, it is more reasonable to pray and go back to sleep. Same thing goes for Ishaa prayer, which can be the perfect time for you to end your day, especially during the summer months. 

If you're a student who has a break between two classes that fall between Zuhr/Asr time, use this time to pray your Salat! Similarly, if you're someone has a job, take your lunch break during the prayer times so you don't miss your prayers on a daily basis! This can become much easier if perform your ablution before leaving the house, and maintain it for the prayer times. 

Something else that can make it is easier is carrying your prayer mat in your purse or school bag, if you do not have access to one at work or school. If you're a germaphobe like myself, you will be much more comfortable praying on a clean prayer mat!

3. PLACES TO PRAY
Of course, it is much easier to pray on time when you are at home. However, the majority of us spend much of our day outside of our homes (ex. school, work, etc.). It is during the period of being outside of our homes that we can often miss our Zuhr, Asr and Maghrib prayers. 

My suggestion is that if you are at school, find areas where you can pray! I know many Universities have designated prayer areas that even provide prayer mats for Muslims. If you have access to such areas, benefit from them! Otherwise, find an empty lecture hall or empty corner of the school where you are able to take 5 minutes to pray.

For those of you who work, try to ask your employer during the interview process whether you can have a silent area for a few minutes a day to pray. Remind them that Muslims are obligated to pray 5 times a day, for which you will need 5 minutes (during your break) to pray.

Finally, when you are out running errands with your family, you should try to be home before it's time to pray. However, knowing this can be difficult, I suggest you look for Mosques nearby, and go there to pray. If you are unable to do this, you can easily pray in your car! Finally, if you're in a clothing store or mall, pray in the change rooms. This is a simple way for you to pray, and then continue with what you were doing, without needing to go home.



4. SET REMINDERS
Your smartphone can be a great blessing when it comes to reminders. There are many apps out there that can remind you to pray, either in the form of a notification or by playing the Azaan. I suggest every Muslim download an app of this sort to assist with praying Salat on time. If you do not have a smartphone on you at all times, write down the prayer timings in your planner, so that you are mentally aware and reminded. For your home, you can find an Azaan alarm clock like this one, that can notify you and your children to pray on time! 

I hope that these tricks assist you with becoming regular in your prayers if you have yet to establish them. You must remember that I can list 100's of suggestions on here for you to establish your prayer, but it is up to you to have the strong desire to do so. If you do not put in the effort to make prayer a habit, no amount of tips will get you to pray on time. As Muslims, we must remember our true purpose in life, which is to worship Allah. May Allah enable us to do so, Ameen.

WHERE DID THIS HOLIDAY COME FROM?

Halloween originates from old Irish pagan practices. It was believed that on October 31st, supernatural forces gathered in the human world. Supposedly, the lord of the dead gathered all the souls of the dead from the previous year who dwelled in animals, and would announce which animal the souls would dwell in, in the coming year.

TRICK-OR-TREATING

It is said that if a household gives something to a costume-clad child, the dead will not harm their household.

ISLAM'S PERSPECTIVE

Shirk, Shirk, Shirk. (idolatry)

No matter how 'fun' this day may look to be, it is wrong for a Muslim child to dress up in a strange manner and beg at the door of strangers - even if it may just be for candy.

Halloween sends across the message that it is 'okay' to believe in witches, evil spirits, and satanic worship. By trying to please these dead spirits, as if, equal to God, it is definitely a form of shirk/idolatry. Moreover, Islam believes that spirits cannot come back from the dead, nor can they be reborn in any form (eg. animals) in this world. As a Muslim, do not try to mix in with the West and get embroiled in hidden shirk/idolatry.

The Qur'an says:

HALLOWEEN TODAY

Nowadays, Halloween is a holiday that is being abused by older children as a way to frighten people in their homes, disrespect elders, and cause disturbances. Thus, Muslim children should instead increase their connection with God.

Many people start following practices that they see practiced in society without thinking. Carelessly, some Muslims parents let their children participate in these traditions without any thought to its origin. But as Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba) has stated, "any 'fun' that is based on shirk is to be avoided".

6 TIPS FOR PARENTS

It can be difficult for a child to fully grasp the reason he/she is not allowed to dress up or go trick-or-treating - especially in the West! Children see their classmates in costumes, and may feel left-out if they are unable to do the same. I've compiled a list of a few actions that parents can take, to ensure that they can help their children better understand the reason for not celebrating Halloween.

1. Get The Facts - Parents should know where Halloween originated from and why it is harmful so that they are able to explain it to their children (I hope this post has helped with that!).
2. Unity - Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page! The last thing you want is for one partner to be explaining the reason Halloween is harmful, while the other spouse counters their arguments!
3. Explain the Facts - Children are smarter than you think! When children ask "why," a simple, "because you can't!" will not suffice! You need to explain all the facts, as stated in this post! 
4. Accept Reality - Children will compare themselves to other Muslim families who perhaps do celebrate Halloween. It is important that you explain to them that every family does things differently, it does not mean their decision is right for your family!
5. Get Their Mind Off Halloween - If you and your child agree, keep them home from school on Halloween. Instead, do activities with them to get their mind off of what they feel they may be missing out on. Remind them that they are not missing out on anything! 
6. Build Up the Excitement for Islamic Holidays - Living in the West, it is hard to avoid the excitement for Western holidays. Sometimes it looks as if Halloween and Christmas decor is literally everywhere. It seems that everyone is talking about their costumes on Halloween or presents on Christmas. For this reason, it is important for parents to ensure that there is an excitement being built up at home for the children to know Eid is coming up. It is not necessary for you to spoil them with presents or adopt new traditions. However, don't make them feel as if the other holidays are 'better' just because they live in the West. 

Sources:
Friday Sermon - October 29th, 2010 - Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba)

Post wedding/marriage blues are very real. Sadly, they're not something that's really talked about. However, blues can often lead to depression, making it a serious topic to address. Unfortunately, the discussion of depression is quite taboo in our culture.
This is why I believe it's an important topic to write about.

For many girls I know, they didn't even know the 'blues' existed until they experienced them for themselves.

For those who haven't experienced it, it can feel kind of like this:
You're very happy because you've married the love of your life; You're so grateful to get to spend the rest of your lives together; You feel sad knowing that your wedding is now over; There are random days when you're down but don't know why; It's scary to think that your life has forever changed; You feel guilty for feeling the way that you do; You miss your family; But despite all of this, you couldn't be happier.

Confusing, I know. But anyone who has experienced them can sum them up the same way.

So why do we go through, 'Post Wedding Blues/Depression' and how can we deal with it?

Anti-Climactic:
On average, couples spend months to over a year, planning the wedding of their dreams. This consists of constant appointments, errands, and things to do. Suddenly, all of the planning, attention and excitement is over.

• Change Your Perspective: This is why we must change our perspectives. Don't think of your wedding as the climax. Avoid thoughts such as, "I put everything into planning a wedding, and now it's over." Instead, look at the wedding as the beginning of your lives together. You're fortunate to have married your partner whom you get to spend the rest of your life with, Insha'Allah. 

Loneliness:
Many brides get married off into their husbands families and have to live in a joint family for some time. Others move straight into a separate house with their husband. For myself, the loneliness stemmed from living alone with my husband. For someone who had grown up with 3 other siblings, I had become so used to having family around. And so, spending the majority of the day alone in an empty house became quite depressing.

•  Social Engagements: Don't isolate yourself completely from your family and friends, Yes, your partner should now be your priority; but, when you can, make time for your family and friends. Invite them over for dinner or go over to their homes. If you stop meeting everyone completely, it can really put you down; especially, if you're a very people-oriented person. 

• Hobbies: Everyone has a different activities that bring them peace. For myself, it was reading and improving myself. Among this was rereading "Hazrat Amman Jan (ra)" in order to make myself a better wife, daughter and mother (Insha'Allah). This not only helped me kill time but also let me gain religious knowledge, leading to more inner peace. 

Responsibilities:
For many, marriage can be an overwhelming shift from minimal responsibility to all the responsibility. You now have to divide up all the household responsibilities amongst yourselves. There's also a financial burden of having to deal with daily expenses. Basically, you now need to 'hardcore adult'. For someone with minimal experience doing tasks, this can be quite difficult.

• Experience: Girls, I know your mothers are always saying "Learn to cook! Learn to clean!" and I'm sorry to be the one to say this, but mother's are always right. Having experience doing things around the home can make the transition into marriage a whole lot easier! You won't be dealing with the emotional transition in to marriage alongside trying to cook a proper meal, do the laundry, or clean. And so, these responsibilities will feel a lot less stressful.

Just remember, marriage is the start of an amazing journey with your best friend! Before your marriage, during your marriage, and after your marriage,  continue to pray with each other and for each other. Once the blues have died down and you've become comfortable with this new 'normal', Insha'Allah your life will be better than you could have ever imagined. But remember, just like your life before marriage had good days, bad days, exciting days and boring days...your life after marriage will too. This does not mean that marriage is to blame. Life wouldn't be life without its ups and downs. But Insha'Allah you experience many more ups than you do downs.

I suggest the following prayer to all of you:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَاماً

Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyatina qurrata a`yunin wa’j`alna li’l muttaqina imama.

“Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.” [Qur’an, 25:74]

Most couples experience the 'blues' after marriage. Please keep in mind that the blues are short term and have different symptoms. If, however, they lead to depression like symptoms, I advise you to seek medical help!

Blues:

• Sadness, 'empty' feeling
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed
• Restlessness

Depression:

• Fatigue
• Inability to sleep
• Feeling worthless
• Difficulty concentrating
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

If you experience the symptoms of depression for five or more recurring days you may have depression. Your doctor can help screen you for depression and help you manage and treat your symptoms so you feel better.

I pray that may Allah bless all of you with amazing life partners and bless your marriages, Ameen.