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For those of you who don't know, I welcomed my sweet baby girl in June of this year. As a first time mom, I had a vision of what motherhood would be like and the products I would need. However, within a few weeks, I realized there were many products that I couldn't survive without, and a few that were more or less a waste of money.

In this post, I want to share with you moms and moms-to-be, some of the products that I can't live without. I believe this will be very beneficial for those of you who are trying to determine which baby products are actually worth your money. Before I begin, I have to mention that what works for one parent may not always work for another. The success of baby products can vary based on your child's preferences, routine, and which areas you wish to spend your money on. With that said, I do know that the listed items are a game changer for many moms!

1) NURSING PILLOW
A few days after nursing my daughter, I noticed my back and shoulder muscles were becoming super sore. Before some feeding sessions, I would have enough time to stack pillows every which way I could to get comfortable. But more often than not, my little one would be too hungry to allow me to sit comfortably. This is when my sister kindly let me borrow her nursing pillow which changed the game!

I seriously love the My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow in particular, because it doesn't shift around. It buckles securely against you, giving your baby and your back all the support they need. It's definitely a must have if you're planning on nursing!

2) A CO-SLEEPER
Before my daughter was born, we had planned for her to sleep in a bassinet we purchased for beside our bed. However, after coming home from the hospital, the anxieties of a new mom quickly dawned over me. I felt like the bassinet wasn't allowing me to be as close to her as I needed, and made it difficult for my husband to watch over her, with her bassinet on my side of the bed. After 2-3 days of being home, we purchased the SwaddleMe By Your Side Sleeper - instantly easing my nightly anxiety!

She was as close to me as I needed, and could easily be picked up by my husband or I during the night. I could reach over and soothe her and keep an eye on her when necessary. I understand that having this co-sleeper in the middle of the bed can make for a squishy sleep experience for many. This is why I would also recommend the bassinet I mentioned above (which we continued to use on the main floor of our home). After my daughter grew out of her co-sleeper a few days back, we moved her back into the bassinet. Now that she is a few months older, having her placed a distance from our bed, is no longer as overwhelming.

3) BREAST PUMP
A breast pump was a great investment for me and my family. It allowed my husband and parents to feed her when I needed a break. Knowing that they had pumped milk in the fridge, gave me so much peace of mind! It also helped me establish my supply by pumping between feeds, and building a collection of frozen milk to use when I choose to stop breastfeeding. I myself purchased the Avent Single Electric Breast Pump, however I would really recommend you opt for the double, to save time! The Avent Natural bottles have also been my daughters favourite, so having the Avent pump along with it, ensured that I didn't have to transfer milk from one bottle to another. I know that these pumps can be a huge expense if you know you won't be using it frequently, a manual breast pump may be the one for you!
4) BOUNCER
Nowadays, there are so many expensive rockers, gliders, and bouncers for babies on the market. My daughter loves her Fisher-Price Deluxe Bouncer. It allows her to sit, so she's not always lying down; she is soothed by the vibrations and music which often put her to sleep; and it's a great way to keep her restrained when I am cleaning or in the kitchen. I never purchased a glider for her, so I'm not sure if they would be a better option for soothing her to sleep. But as of now, I'm glad she doesn't rely on motion to fall asleep. As she has gotten older, I often hang toys from the top, which keep her occupied. Needless to say, before you fall into the trap of spending hundreds on gliders and rockers, know that there are many low-cost options out there that your baby might love just as much.


5) BATH TUB
Giving a tiny baby a bath can seem slightly overwhelming. Despite how hard you try not to think negatively, the fear of dropping him/her in the tub still looms over you. A sitting bath tub seat is a great way to wash your child comfortably. It will make bath time a lot more enjoyable for you and your little one. There are many great tubs on the market for affordable prices. Look out for a tub that drains the water, can lie your child down comfortable, and preferably won't outgrow your child too soon. This one can lie your child down when they are young, and allow them to sit up when they are able to do so.


6) ZIPPERED ONESIES
Night time feeds and diaper changes are rough! In those first few weeks with a newborn, you really would do anything for a decent night's sleep. This means being able to feed and change your baby as fast as humanly possible. Zippered onesies are super convenient! You don't have to worry about figuring out how to snap annoying buttons in the dark. They're also great for babies who hate being cold after bath time, because you can get them on quickly.


7) SLEEP SACKS
Going along with zippered onesies - sleep sacks are the best for when baby learns how to escape the swaddle and kick off his/her blanket! After the first night of cold weather - my daughter woke up with a stuffy runny nose, cough, and sneeze - mostly because I couldn't put her blanket on top of her enough times during the night. That day I went out and bought a winter sleep sack to ensure she wouldn't get a cold again! Sleep sacks are made for various weathers, so you can also buy some for the warmer months. Some of them include a 'swaddle' element that keeps the baby feeling snug and warm. I recommend if your child doesn't care for being tightly swaddled, buy a sleep sack in a larger size so it lasts longer! I purchased the 12-18 month size even though my daughter is only 4 months old. The longer length will ensure she can use it next season as well #momhack.


8) PLAY MAT
Play mats are not only a great resource for helping your child develop motor skills, but also a great way to give mom a break. My daughter can play under her play mat for at least 30 minutes to an hour before getting annoyed. There's definitely a bunch of different ones out there at various price points - so find one that works for you. My daughter was gifted the Bright Starts play mat, which she has loved! It's great because you can also take the toys off, and switch them out for new ones!

9) PLAYYARDS / PLAYPENS
I truly believe playyards are a must-have if you have a two storey house. After my daughter's bassinet was shifted into our bedroom, we put a Cosco Playyard and mattress in the living room on the main floor. It allowed me to put her in a safe and secure place if I was busy in the kitchen. Oftentimes, I would put her play mat inside the playpen, so I didn't have to worry about her getting hurt or lying on the hardwood floor for too long. For daytime naps, I could leave her in the playpen without worrying about having to move her to a safer location for the remainder of her nap. It's so reassuring knowing she won't roll off a couch, hurt herself with furniture around her, or fall down the stairs in the future. Finally, if you travel a lot, a playyard is essential for your child to sleep safely during the night. If this is not something you wish to spend your money on, you can always buy an enclosed baby gate that your child can play within.

10) CARSEAT + STROLLER IN 1
If you want to purchase one item that will make your transition into motherhood 100 times easier, it's a carseat and stroller combo! Nowadays, there are many companies that are creating strollers with this concept in mind - and for a good reason. The Graco Click Connect is a very nice, good quality, and affordable stroller system. The toddler seat can be stored away until needed, and the baby bucket seat can click directly onto the base of the stroller - making it lightweight. When the child grows out of the bucket seat, you can put the toddler seat back on the base, and use it as a normal stroller. Not having to wake your baby up every time you get in and out of the car is very reassuring.

From the moment you find out you're going to be a mother, you start planning for the arrival of your little bundle of joy. After learning to cope with the 'not so fun' symptoms of being pregnant, your days are spent browsing the web for baby products, waiting for your next appointment to see and hear the life inside you, and being amazed by each and every kick and hiccup.


Throughout my pregnancy, my only fears were for the health of the baby, and for the labour and delivery that was to come. Similar to many moms-to-be, my focus throughout the pregnancy was to enjoy time with my husband and some me-time, and prepare everything we needed for the baby. In reality, the much more important thing that I should have been planning and praying for was my life to follow. The huge change that occurred in my life is one that I feel I wasn't truly mentally prepared for - regardless of how 'ready' I felt to become a mother.

A few days before our daughter's expected due date, she decided to make a speedy entrance. I was blessed to have the labour and delivery experience that I had dreamed and prayed for, Alhamdulillah. The part that I had been so worried for had passed, and now the true reality of what I should have been worried for hit me.

Our first night in the hospital, I remember staying awake all night. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, out of fear of something happening to her. Despite being in a hospital and knowing we had every resource around us, if God-forbid something were to happen, I still felt like I had to look at her to keep her safe. I would say, this is when my anxiety/blues began.

From the hospital, we headed to my parent's home where we would be staying for the next couple of weeks. Those first few nights consisted of lots of tears. Thoughts of, "Did we decide to have kids too soon?", "How can I take care of her for the rest of my life?", "What if something happens to her?" and "Will my husband and I's relationship be changed forever?" filled my mind. I was so confused as to why people chose to have kids and why anyone would voluntarily get stuck in the cycle of diaper changes, feeds, sleepless nights, and exhausting days. I loved my daughter dearly, but what made it hardest for me was the huge change. I have never been someone who works well with changes in my life. I need structure, to-do lists, and schedules, to make myself feel sane. However, as the first few days of my daughter's life had quickly made me realize, we were now running with her schedule, not mine, and that was a tough pill to swallow.

Regardless of how much we could have planned for a child, I feel as though you never truly know what you're getting yourself into. I had spent 15 years of my life being around young kids and if there's anyone who loved to be around kids, it was me. I had known from the start of my marriage that I wanted to have kids soon. Yet even after giving ourselves plenty of time as a couple, the huge change that came about with a child made me wish I could go back to the comfort of the life I was used to.

Now, as my daughter turns 1 month old, I can truly say, I know why people have children. No, it's not easy; No, your life will never be the same again, and that's not necessarily a bad thing; and No, you will not have the independence you once had. But, motherhood is a love that you truly never knew existed inside you. If you are going through this, just know that it's a lot more common than you think. You are allowed to mourn the loss of the life you once had, but know that life has phases and change is inevitable. You can never be in one stage of life forever. And things will get better!! You will be able to get out of the rut that comes with the first few weeks as a new mom and enjoy motherhood very soon.

Here are a few things that helped ease my anxiety as a new mother, that I feel can be of help for anyone else going through this 'new mom adjustment period'. 

1. Be Around Loved Ones
I am so grateful to live close to my parents and siblings. Before I had my daughter, I had planned to stay at my parents' home for two weeks maximum. I had assumed I would have enough time to heal and figure things out in those two weeks. Boy was I wrong! Within a few days of being at my moms', I quickly extended my stay to a month. Not having to deal with the cooking and chores that would have come with me going home was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! By the time I left my mothers home, I was so comfortable taking care of my baby and we had a pretty good routine figured out, which made the transition a lot easier.

2. Incorporate Parts of Your Old Life In Your New Routine
On the first or second night with the baby, I remember crying to my husband that I missed the life we had before. I missed doing what I wanted whenever I wanted, or getting up and going wherever we pleased. This came from a new mom who was exhausted by the repetitive nature of taking care of a baby, and just wanted the 'easy' life she once had. My husband quickly reassured me that our daughter was a blessing, and that it would get easier. By having my parent's around, my husband and I were able to get out of the house and do things we would have done previously. I would help my mom clean and cook whenever I had a spare second, because that's something that I used to do before baby and it brought a part of my old life back. This made me feel as though I had some control, and that life wasn't completely different now.

3. Get Outside
One of the reasons we had planned for a summer baby was to have longer days, and to be able to get outside. I know that if I had a winter baby and was trapped inside for the cold Canadian winter months, I would go crazy. When my daughter was a few days old, we took her for a day out. We planned on sticking to outdoor places such as the patio at a restaurant, and parks to ensure she wouldn't get sick. Yes, it took a little bit of planning, and it wasn't as easy as when it was just the two of us, but the fresh air was so necessary. Sometimes it's important to remind yourself that there's a world outside your doors! The earlier you start taking your little one out (staying within your comfort zone of course), the faster you will get comfortable with it.

4. Take Care of Yourself
I can't stress how important it is to make time for yourself. Eat so your body is nourished, especially if you are breastfeeding. Take a shower, and get into clean clothes. It isn't only your little one that deserves to get bathed and dressed every day, so do you! When possible do something simply for yourself - get your nails done, your hair, etc. If you don't take care of yourself you can't possibly be in the best mood to take care of your baby! Self care is so important for new moms, especially when it can feel as though your life is now revolving around your baby and you have no second to spare.

5. Pray
For me, the biggest thing I felt had impacted my mood and increased my anxiety postpartum was not being able to pray my 5 daily prayers for those first few weeks. When you become used to praying every single day for 40 weeks, not being able to pray postpartum can feel very odd. Moreover, Ramadan had just passed, which had definitely boosted me spiritually. Going from that, to motherhood and not having the routine of my Salat definitely impacted my mood. I then made it a habit to recite some Surah's and prayers in my own words while nursing. Since my daughter would feed every few hours during the day, I was able to keep a connection with Allah throughout the day despite not praying Salat. After doing this for a few days, I already felt like my heart was more at peace.

If you are a new mom just know, you are so blessed to experience motherhood. Yes, you will miss your freedom, independence, and life before motherhood - but that's life. Every phase of your life will bring with it ups and downs. Things you enjoy in your current life and things you miss from your previous phases of life. Just know, that once you have a rhythm and routine with your little one, this will become your new normal and you will love it. Just remember, you are doing an amazing job; Ask for help whenever you need to; Take care of yourself; And enjoy the tiny little baby in your life - because they grow way too fast.

May Allah bless all mothers with the strength to raise their children and shower them with His blessings, Ameen.

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[Please note: If you are feeling depressed after your baby's birth, and experience any symptoms of postpartum baby blues or depression, call your doctor and schedule and appointment. If you have symptoms that suggest you may have postpartum psychosis, get help immediately. Call your doctor if the signs and symptoms of depression have any of the follow features: don't fade after 2 weeks, are getting worse, make it hard for you to take care of your baby, make it hard to complete everyday tasks, include thoughts of harming yourself or your baby]

Depending on the culture and beliefs you have grown up with, your view on marrying young can be a positive one or a negative one. I myself, grew up with cousins and friends who married at the age of 20-23 years. Thus, it was a norm in our family, and an expectation in my head.


When my husband and I got married young, our family and friends were excited for us, while those who were not familiar with this concept, became rather concerned. My peers and teachers saw me go from 'Single' to 'Engaged' and then 'Married' in a matter of 7 months, and automatically assumed the worst. For them, I was forced into a relationship with a stranger, and would now have to live as a housewife for the rest of my life, unable to finish my education or begin a career. Despite them knowing full well that I was always passionate about my education and career goals, I believe they felt this way due to the religious/cultural stereotypes they had heard of regarding Muslim girls that marry young. From day one, I felt the need to prove wrong all those who assumed that I had married a stranger, whom I didn't love; I wouldn't finish my undergraduate degree; I wouldn't start a career now; and I would be 'stuck' as a wife for the rest of my life. I'm not saying that you need to try and please the world, or that there's anything wrong with either of this. But I wanted to show these people that all the stereotypes they had heard were false, and that marriage would not make me fall behind in my goals, education, or career. Instead, I could accomplish even more now that I was married, Insha'Allah.

The other day, my friend came across my high school teacher, who asked my friend whether I had any kids yet. I know that if the answer had been 'yes' she would have assumed the worst, despite there being no fault in this, if it were my decision. Similarly, whenever I meet some of these classmates and teachers, and they realize that I graduated, began my career, and have accomplished so much more than many guys and girls my age have, despite being married, they are shocked. But I know full well that much of this was made possible due to the blessings of marriage. Islam has the teaching of getting married young for this reason - because there are so many blessings in it. Especially in today's age, when there is so much sin in the world, marriage is one way to safeguard against it. Although getting married young may not be for everybody, and definitely depends on a lot of variables, I know it was the best decision I could have made.

For anyone else who feels as though they are facing criticism for marrying young, the following are some tips that I believe can help you prove wrong all negative connotations associated with it.

1. The 'Other' Perspective
When you state that you are getting married young, you are automatically seen as crazy. There is this notion that the early 20's are meant to be the experimental years. Apparently, you are meant to 'find yourself', find your passions and hobbies, travel the world, experiment with your relationships and whatever else you wish to do before 'getting tied down in a permanent relationship'. But, if you and your husband are financially able to support yourselves, and have the maturity level that's required in accepting this huge responsibility, what is wrong with marrying young? Why do you have to wait for society to tell you what the 'ideal age' is to get married? Understanding the other perspective is a good first step in standing up for what your beliefs are, and knowing that you can have differences in your views but still respect one another.

2. People Assume the Worst
When you decide to tell the world your plans of marrying young, they automatically assume there's a different reason for this. Either you're pregnant, you're forced, and if it's neither of these, well, then you're altogether making a mistake. But it's important to remind the world that you only wish to marry this man/woman now, because you are excited to spend the rest of your lives together and live with them for the years ahead, Insh'Allah. Why waste more time, when you can start your adventure together NOW?

3. Remind the World that You Are Happy
Similar to my point above, those who look down upon your decision can oftentimes be projecting their own fears. They fear that you'll get a divorce, lose your freedom and live the rest of your life not happy with the man/woman you married. Being confident in your decision, and replying with this confidence is the way to go. Remind them of the many couples who get married young, and do not get a divorce or have a miserable marriage. And those who get married at an older age can also get a divorce or have a unhappy marriage - this is not dependent on age. Showing them that you're doing just well while married can help ease their anxieties and negative perspective on marrying young as well. Tell them of all the things you now get to enjoy with your life partner - travel, milestones, accomplishments, and so much more.

Unfortunately, arranged marriages while young are seen as even worse than relationships that go from dating to marriage. When I  got engaged I was often asked how I met my husband. I would then have to explain how the 'rishta' process goes in Islam. Remind the other person that Islam doesn't want you to get married to a stranger, but it also doesn't want you to marry someone whom you've gotten to know inside and out. Islam wishes for you  to know just as much as is required to know that you will get along with the person who is a potential life partner, and that you both have compatible personalities. It does not require years of dating and daily conversations to get to this level of understanding. The beauty in Islam is that you know your partner well enough upon getting engaged/married to know that you are making the correct decision (Insha'Allah), and then throughout your marriage you get to know each other further. Remind them that an arranged marriage is not the same as a forced marriage - and that forced marriages are not a part of Islam.

In the end, if you know you made the right decision by marrying at an age society deems 'young', don't let others change your mind. Hopefully your marriage sets an example for the world, and dispels the many negative stereotypes associated with marrying young.

For those of you who don't know, I work a full-time job, and I've been married for over a year. Many of you enjoyed and found useful my posts about "Managing University with a Religious Life", and "Being Married While in University". So naturally, I felt the need to write a post about managing a full-time career with married life, and religious responsibilities. I hope this post is helpful to all those who are trying to find a balance in life and juggle their responsibilities gracefully.

I want to begin by reminding you of our purpose in life which is to worship Allah. Yet, oftentimes we get so caught up in our day-to-day routines that we put off our Salat and dedication to the Jama'at because, we don't have time. We forget that these actions are the greatest source of blessings and investment towards the Hereafter. As depressing as this may sound, with the bloodshed and chaos in the world today, each additional day we have in this world is truly a blessing. We must stop putting our spiritual progress off for tomorrow, because tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone. I often hear many young adults say, "my life is too busy right now, I'll increase my regularity in prayer, service to the Jama'at, and seeking of religious knowledge for when I have time". If there's one thing I can promise you it's this, you will never have time you need to make time. First, you'll be busy with high school, then with University, then comes married life, managing a home, a career, having children, raising children, etc. Chances are, you will always be busy! Without time management and incorporating things into the schedule you have now, years of your life will go by the same. What's the point of waiting until most of your life is over before you make room for spiritual progress in your life? Why wait to share the knowledge you can gain, when it is so valuable to you in these stages of your life - as a student, coworker, and mother? I can attest to the fact that the time you dedicate seeking, sharing, and applying religious knowledge at your Mosque and within your community is never wasted time. For example, my husband and I have always made it a requirement in our lives to be active in the Jama'at. We both have responsibilities within the Jama'at, and are always kept busy. But, with the busy weekdays and weekends, week after week, I know for a fact that Allah is showering His blessings on us. We witness the fruits of this time spent dedicated to Allah, each and every day. So, if you ever think that you don't have time to dedicate towards serving Allah and His Community, I want you to remember that you are truly missing out on the blessings that follow. Make an effort to attend programs, help arrange events, assist with the clean up after events, and see for yourself how rewarding it is. Moreover, read Islamic books and share your religious knowledge by putting aside any embarrassment you may have of professing your faith publicly.

With all of that said, I want to share with you a few techniques of building on your spiritual life on a day-to-day basis, even when it may feel as though you don't have enough hours in the day.

1. Salat & Holy Qur'an - The first and most important thing for you to remember is making your prayers and recitation of the Holy Qur'an a habit. Start your day with Fajr, pray Zuhr and Asr when you get home from work (if you don't have time at work), and never go to sleep without reading Maghrib and Isha'a. This is the bare minimum of our remembrance of Allah! If you have a car with you, try praying your Salat in your car during your lunch break, or before driving home, to ensure your Salat is read on time, and not combined. Remind yourself that Salat is mandatory! Many of us would not miss work without a solid reason, so why do we miss our prayers - even though Salat is mandatory and work is not? On my way to work, I like to leave the house early to ensure I arrive on time. Depending on traffic, I can arrive at work 30 minutes early, or totally last minute. On days I'm lucky enough to get to work early, I sit in my car and read the Qur'an with English Translation on an App on my phone. This is honestly a great way to start your day positively, and give you something to ponder upon throughout your day. 
2. Rearrange your schedule around Jama'at events - This can only be done if you make every effort and intention to go to these events! Get your cooking, cleaning, and other responsibilities taken care of before or after the time of these events. Yes, some programs can take up a good portion of the day, but start by going, even for 1-2 hours. Once you start with this small sacrifice, it will become much easier for you to sacrifice more and more time. If you typically work on the weekends, ask for either Saturday or Sunday off every week. This way you can ensure that you are able to make it to at least 50% of the programs - assuming most are held on the weekend! Similarly, don't say "no" to Jama'at responsibilities on the basis of not having enough time or knowledge. You can make time, and accepting the role will result in an increase in knowledge, Insha'Allah! I can give you an example from my life - shortly after receiving the responsiblity of Nasirat Secretary, I landed my current full-time job. I was told by some that now I could use that to excuse myself from the Nasirat secretary role, by saying that I have a full-time job and home to manage. But, I had to remind myself that this was a poor excuse and reason to give up a responsibility that was assigned to me. While my job may have been able to benefit me in this world, the time and effort I put towards my Jama'at duties would benefit me in this world and the next. While I was putting 50+ hours a week towards my job, why couldn't I sacrifice another 3-4 hours a week for Allah? That's how I reminded myself that I could make the time Insha'Allah, and Allah would help me manage this and all my other responsibilities. 
3. Listen to Jama'at programs and audiobooks - If you commute to work/school, try listening to an MTA program or an Islamic audiobook. I'm not saying you have to do this all the time - I know some of you will say that you value your music. But even if you make it a habit to listen to something that will increase your religious knowledge on the way to work/school, and then listen to whatever you please on the way home, it ensures you don't waste the 1-2 hours you may have otherwise wasted everyday listening to music. If you have a 1-2 hour commute everyday, you are probably spending 5-10 hours every week listening to music. Similarly, when cooking dinner, try to listen to a religious program on your phone/laptop/TV, instead of watching shows or listening to music. Typically, you can spend 1-2 hours in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning. So using 30 minutes of that time to build on your spiritual self should not be considered a waste of time.

Just think for a second about your daily schedule - how much of your time do you actually spend doing homework and working? How much of this time is wasted? Now don't tell me every second you spend on your laptop, consists of you doing homework - I'm sure Netflix or YouTube is just a tab away. Next comes the question, how much time do you waste? Wasting time does not mean giving yourself a 30 minute break to watch an episode of your favourite show after a tiring day. Instead, spending hours upon hours doing things that are not necessary, and putting off your other responsibilities. Now, how much time do you spend for Allah - gaining knowledge, praying, tabligh, etc.? I promise you, keeping yourself busy is the best way for you to waste the least amount of time. And knowing that you have to go to a meeting at  specific time, work at a specific time, pray at a specific time, is the best way for you to accomplish more! It frightens me to see the young generations pull so far away from their religious obligations and dedication to the Jama'at. The future of this Jama'at rests in our hands. We are the ones who will be raising the children who will grow to be Lajna and Khuddam. If we ourselves don't value our faith, there is no way our children will. If we allow "having too much school work" and "a job" as valid excuses for missing prayers and Jama'at events, our kids will grow up with the same mentality.

Please start with one thing at a time. Do little things that slowly become habits that will benefit you in the Hereafter. Stop thinking of this life as being longer than it is. Realize that your life is passing quickly! Please remember your purpose in life! Stop disobeying the commands of Allah. Do you not see the state of the world? Sin is rapidly spreading. We are exposed to horrible things every single day. How else can we ensure that we are not negatively influenced, if we don't pray for protection against Satan? By not realizing how important your religion is, you are truly hurting yourself! Being born a Muslim is not enough. There are so many who leave behind their culture, beliefs, family, friends, country, everything, in search for the true religion and purpose in life. We are so beyond blessed that Allah allowed us to be born into this religion, and Community! Please do not take this for granted. You are capable of being a better Muslim!

May we be the recipient of Allah's mercy and live a life that ultimately pleases Him, Ameen!

Women sometime wonder why they are restricted from some daily acts of worship during 'that time of month'! Unfortunately, we can sometimes shift away from our religion because we are prohibited from praying, touching or reciting the Holy Qur'an, or fasting during our menses. The restriction of Salat is given to us as follows, "A menstruating woman cannot perform Salat" (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud).


Due to these restrictions, we can often feel as though we are unable to grow spiritually, or be the recipient of the Allah's blessings that come with these acts. However, I hope that this post helps you understand the steps you can take to please and worship Allah during your time away from the regular acts of worship.

Sometimes, we can get so caught up in the fact that we are unable to fast or pray during our menses, that we forget that they are a sign of a healthy woman. Don't forget that your body is functioning as Allah has willed for it to function. Be grateful for this!

Let's take a step back for a second. All Muslims know that praying Salat is incumbent upon every Muslim because Allah has made it the sole purpose of our lives. Moreover, by obeying Allah, and praying Salat we can be rewarded!

Similarly, when Allah tells us woman NOT to pray at an appointed time, we can obey Him and be the recipient of the same blessings. Allah has allowed women to take this time off, because our energy levels are low. We are told not to pray our Salat, BUT can still be rewarded as if we had prayed! This should make us even more grateful to our Creator, and the Mercy He has on us!

Oftentimes, when women reach the end of their menses, they may truly miss that time they would have spent praying Salat or reading the Qur'an, causing them to come back to these acts with even more fervor! This too is a blessing.

OTHER MEANS OF WORSHIP
Worshipping our Creator is not limited to praying our Salat, reading Qur'an, or fasting. Allah has developed many means for us to draw closer to Him through other acts of devotion:

1) Make Dhikr
Whilst on your menses, make dhikr day and night, and glorify Allah. Contemplate over His magnificence and all that He has created. However, be sure to remember Allah with your heart, and not just verbally! You can say:

• Astaghfirullah
• SubhaanAllah
• Alhamdulillah
• Allahu Akbar
• Sub-haan'Allahi wa bi-hamdihi sub-han'Allah-il adheem

2) Say Du'a, Taubah, and Istighfar
Women can turn to Allah and pray to Him or repent! The place of dua is so high in front of Allah that the Prophet (pbuh) said: "Nothing is more honourable to Allah the Most High than Dua." So while taking part in your day to day activities, you can still repent, and say prayers verbally or in your heart, without needing to perform Salat.

3) Study Books & Gain Knowledge
Remember, that Islam stresses that, "Seeking knowledge is obligatory upon every Muslim (male and female)". This is why, women can take this time to read Islamic books and increase their knowledge of Islam and Islamic history! If you would like to stick with the routine of your five daily prayers, so that the transition back to your prayers is not difficult, try reading a few pages of an Islamic book during the time you would normally pray Salat.

4) Listen to the Holy Qur'an
During the time of day in which you would normally have read the Holy Qur'an, perhaps you can take 5-10 minutes to listen to it instead. Listening to the recitation of the Qur'an is a great way for you to calm your heart and feed your soul. By listening to the translation and commentary as well, we can study its deeper meanings. This will also give you something to reflect on throughout the day!

5) Watch Lectures
When your body is tired and achy, what better way to relax then laying down and watching an Islamic Program? This in itself is an act of worship and can bring you closer to Allah, if done for His sake.

Thus, we must remember that a woman's devotional acts do not have to decrease while on her menses. If she so wills, she can continue with her devotion and worship of Allah through other means! Allah has not prohibited you from worshipping Him through Salat because He doesn't want you to worship. Instead, Allah has showered His mercy upon women, knowing the pain that women go through during their menses, and that the physical performance of Salat would be difficult to do.

Islam is a religion that brings ease into the lives of its followers. It has a response to every question, and a method for every type of scenario. If, Allah had not made it evident that women are exempt from praying Salat whilst on their period, this would have started a debate among all Muslims. Women who were in extreme pain, and unable to pray, would be looked down upon if they missed their prayers. Thus, Allah has made our lives easier, and we should be very grateful for this!

May we all realize how blessed we are to be women and continue to show our gratitude to Allah, Ameen!

Ramadan - a month that Muslims around the globe look forward to each and every year. For those of us who get to cross paths with Ramadan once again, we should be truly grateful. This means that we have been blessed with another year to live, another year to worship, another year to do good, and another year to repent! Before the start of Ramadan, it is important that we reflect on the month of blessings that is to come and determine how we can make the greatest use of it!

1. Seek Knowledge About Ramadan
Before Ramadan begins, do your research! What is Ramadan? Why is it important? What does it entail? It's vital that you seek answers to these questions and truly understand the importance of Ramadan. This way, you can ensure that you do everything that you are required to do, and refrain from anything that you are discouraged/prohibited from doing throughout the month. By reading articles or  books, and listening to videos or podcasts, you can ensure that you have the correct mindset and intentions before the start of Ramadan.

2. Make a Plan
For those of you who like routine in order to get in the habit of doing things, creating a plan is essential. Your plan could look something like this:

3 am - Wake Up, Read Nafl, and Have Sehri
4 am - Pray Fajr & Read Qur'an
5 am - Sleep
7 am - Wake Up for Work
1:30 pm - Lunch Break: Pray & Read Qur'an
6 pm - Reach Home, Pray, Read Qur'an
7 pm - Rest
8 pm - Prepare Food for Iftari
9 pm - Open Fast, Maghrib Prayer
9:15 pm - Eat, Clean, Prepare for Tomorrow
9:45 pm - Go for Taraweeh Prayers at the Mosque, Pray Ishaa
10:00 pm - Read Qur'an, Sleep

In order for a plan like this to be fruitful, you must keep it at the forefront of your mind at all times. If you don't intend to wake up for Sehri or go to Taraweeh prayers, it is likely that you will not! Our minds and bodies need to follow a schedule to successfully get things done. And the first step in getting things done is setting intentions!

3. Set Goals
With "Making a Plan' comes 'Setting Goals'. Some goals consist of:

• Finish Holy Qur'an x1
• Read 5 Islamic Books
• Keep All Possible Fasts
• Read Taraweeh Prayers at the Mosque

6. Stack Pantry Items
If you can, stack your pantry with items that won't go bad. This way, you won't have to go out in the heat, while fasting, to grab your groceries. Instead, you will have many pantry items, which can make your trip to the grocery store much shorter!

7. Meal Prep
Before Ramadan begins, cook staple foods and freeze them for days when you have little time or energy to cook a huge meal for either Sehri or Iftari! Freezing certain foods early will definitely help you throughout the month!

I hope that these tips are helpful for you as you prepare for Ramadan. May this Ramadan be a blessed experience for all of us, and may we extract all of the blessings that this month brings with it. May we be better Muslims by the end of this month than we are at the start, Ameen!

University or college education is not an easy endeavour. The many readings, difficult assignments, countless exams, and lengthy class schedules can make it a very stressful and challenging experience. But when you add marriage into the mix your responsibilities only increase drastically. The time you would have spent on assignments and studying prior to marriage must now also be allocated towards running a home and strengthening a relationship.

For those of you who don't know, I got engaged at the start of my 3rd year in my undergraduate program, and married in the summer before the start of my 4th year. And so, my 1st year of marriage was spent enrolled in full-time studies to complete my 4th and final year of my undergrad, while married and living alone with my husband. I assure you, the thought of this really stressed me out in the months leading up to my wedding. If you are in the same boat as me, I can promise you that it will not be easy, but it is definitely manageable! This post is a compilation of the challenges I faced, how I overcame them, and my suggestions for how you can manage all of your responsibilities as a wife and as a student.

TIME MANAGEMENT
As a student, you know the time constraints and pressures with deadlines and schedules. It may already feel impossible to fit studying and assignments into your day alongside attending classes and having a social life - and thus, the thought of adding another huge responsibility (i.e. marriage) into the mix may overwhelm you. Totally fair! Time management is definitely key when it comes to successfully meeting your responsibilities! This is the only way you can meet your academic demands and needs, spend time with your spouse, manage your house, and make time for yourself!

a) Weekly Schedule
Use an agenda or planning method that works for you, to create a weekly schedule taking into account your class schedule, other responsibilities, and your husband's schedule! It really helps to get into the swing of things when you dedicate certain days to getting specific things done. If you do not do this from day one, you will easily get overwhelmed! This is the weekly schedule I had for myself in regards to the bigger responsibilities!

• Saturday - Plan Weekly Menu, Grocery, Errands, Load Laundry, (Usually a Mosque Event)
• Sunday - Meal Prep Lunches, Sort things out for the week, Spend time with my husband
• Monday - University, Work on Assignments/Readings/Modules, Cook Dinner
• Tuesday - University, Work on Assignments/Readings/Modules
• Wednesday - Deep Clean, Put Away Laundry, Cook Dinner
• Thursday - University, Work on Assignments/Readings/Modules
• Friday - Friday Prayer, Assignments/Readings/Modules, Cook Dinner

This schedule was truly a life saver! It ensured that I was always on track with weekly lunches, laundry, cooking, assignments, and cleaning! In weeks that I swayed away from this schedule due to midterms or exams, I could feel the tasks piling up and it would really distract me from studying.

b) Daily Schedule
As someone who feels the need to clean every single day and prefers to not eat out often, a daily schedule alongside a weekly schedule ensured that I was making the most of the day! This consisted of an hour by hour breakdown of my day ensuring I would make time for my home, university, myself, and my husband. On weekdays it looked something like this:

• 8am - noon - breakfast, clean kitchen and bedroom, pick things up around the house, pack our lunches, get ready, go to university
• Noon - 7pm - attend classes, work on assignments, come home
• Evenings - make dinner, spend time with husband, spend 1 hour on a university task

I honestly can't stress enough how important time management is for ensuring you do not become stressed out! Don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed with everything you have to get done. It is okay to take breaks and spend time on yourself but try to have designated days for key tasks and follow some sort of routine!

TIPS AND TRICKS:

1. COURSE LOAD: I was very lucky to have two days of the week off, due to lots of preplanning. Throughout my undergrad, I always took courses during the summer breaks. Leading up to wedding, I took two additional courses! This meant that during my 4th year, I only had 8 courses instead of 10! Truly a life saver!
2. ONLINE COURSES: Each term, I chose to take a course online that was either a mandatory course or a course that contributed to my minor. With this, I was able to watch the modules at home instead of the time it would have taken to commute to and from university, giving me more time during the day! This is another reason I was able to have two of fives days off in Term 1, and three of five days off in Term 2!
3. MEAL PLANNING: Before you go grocery shopping every weekend, plan out your meals for every day of the week! This way you can ensure you have the ingredients at home and won't spend every morning wondering what you'll cook when you get home!
4. FREEZE FOOD: Your freezer can honestly become your best friend when it comes to cooked meals! Typically on days I was cooking dinner (3-4 times a week), I would cook enough for the next days dinner, and a yogurt sized box to freeze for another day. This way, on days when I knew we would be getting home late, I would leave the food out to thaw, and we could come home and quickly heat it in a pan, and eat! 
5. MEAL PREPPING: If you take 1-2 hours on the weekend to prepare your lunches for the week, you will save so much time every morning! The last thing you will have to think of is preparing a lunch for your husband and yourself! Baking some vegetables and chicken, a salad, rice, pasta, or wraps, are all great meals you can keep in your fridge for 3-5 days and pop into your lunch every morning!
6. GET HELP: I can't stress this enough! I myself am guilty of being the girl who hates asking for help and wants to do everything herself. But whether it's your husband, your parents, or your in-laws, don't be afraid to ask for help! I am so grateful for a husband who would help me with dinner on days I was studying, help me with meal prepping and grocery shopping, and never made me feel bad for not cooking or cleaning for a few days! On days we would finish from university and work late, we would drop by my parents house for dinner and no one made me feel bad about it - truly a blessing! 

• Personal Debts - student loans, credit card debts, etc.
• Salaries and Income - will you run off of a single or dual income?
• Spending Habits - do you like to splurge or save? 

This discussion will ensure that each of your financial situations are now an open book for the other. Meaning, in the future, a backload of debt that wasn't brought up, will not be the cause of a dispute.

• Husband's Income - used for expenses and running the house
• Wife's Income - used as savings

This is a great way for you to learn to live with a smaller income in case one of you loses your job or has to stay at home and raise kids in the future! It is also a great way for you to save and be stringent with your money.

• If possible, refinance your student loans to a better interest rate.
• If both of you own a car, ditch one of them and try to share one instead. Cars require a lot of money to upkeep, and these costs add up fast!
• Free and Low Cost Date Nights - there are many great alternatives out there that don't require heaps of money.
• Gifts - oftentimes, newly weds feel the need to gift each other extravagant things very often, which can lead to an additional expense in the start of the marriage. This is not to say you aren't allowed to splurge, but do so less frequently, and while keeping the rest of your expenses in mind!

5. Create a Budget
From the start, it is very important that you set a clear and concise budget to know exactly where your money is going. In an Excel Spreadsheet (or any tool of your choice), categorize your revenue and expenses on a month-by-month basis. This includes:

• Revenue: Sources of Income, Grants, Benefits, etc.
• Expenses: Mortgage/Rent, Insurance, Groceries, Clothing, Entertainment, Gas, Donations, etc.
• Ensure you have a section for savings, so you know exactly how much money you are putting towards your savings every month!

This way, you can visually see where you are overspending and can take the necessary steps to ensure you remain within your budget every month.

• Budget - as mentioned above, include a savings section within your budget
• Savings Account – have an account where money goes in, but no money comes out!
• Emergency - ensure that you quickly pool together an emergency fund incase of a medical emergency, urgent home repair, or loss of a job!
• Retirement Savings - ensure you are putting money away into a retirement fund

7. Sales and Coupons

• Muslims should not take part in any Pagan practices – including Valentine’s Day and Halloween
• We should not fall for this materialistic trap which forces us to buy roses and chocolates under pressure
• Muslims should not have romantic relations with individuals of the opposite gender prior to marriage – contrary to the message that Valentine’s Day sends

• Express your love for Allah through regular prayer and good deeds
• Express your love and gratitude to family and friends often
• Pray for others

Overall, we as Muslims should not associate ourselves with man-made pagan festivals that have turned into superficial celebrations.